A Letter to You
Minggu, Juli 23, 2017
It hurts. I'm shattered when opened our old conversation. I'm broken knowing our complicated situation. I'm tired of wondering your feeling. Because I know this will be happening in the end. Because I know this will happen, I stopped. So I stopped.
Dear you,
Despite all, may I ask a question? Are you really happy now? Seeing me falling apart into pieces and quite insane? But It's okay, it's okay. Because it's our decision. Because I love you. Because I fall for you, that's why I let you go.
But don't you think this way was too fast and too unfair? How can you do this to the girl who have brought you to another world with sparkling stars at the sky? How can you took me into your deepest chest, drown into your love, making me lost into your eyes, but you made me fragile and feeling so stupid?
Dear you,
In a second I remembered how happy I was when you wanted to enter my precious life. When you tried greeting me, when you tried to make such a long conversation with me, when you tried to impress me, when you tried to know me more and more when you said that I am a gift from God. You said you miss me even you don't know me before, when you smiled often because of our unnecessary conversation, when you thanked to me because I exist in your life, when you said that I am such a miracle in your life. Don't you remember? I remember. Always remember.
Dear you,
At the last month you said, "May you become my partner?" Then I answered "Yes." I was beyond happy. Oh, see, actually I was happy since you called my nickname. Oh, not really though. I was beyond happy when I gazed into your eyes while you were talking to your friends. You didn't know me but in a second we had eye contact many times. Since that, I became your secret admirer.
"Thanks for being here by my side. Thanks for being too kind to me. Thanks for being patient and having a sincere heart. I will never leave you, I will never give up on you, I will never give up on us. I will be there for you. Always. I love you."
Liar! Any of the words in my head but now I just can answer, "I love you too, my best friend."
"You can say anything you want, you can say everything you want, I will give it to you if I can, as I can. Just say it, because I love you, because I want to make you happy."
How if I say, "I don't want to be a best friend, we are stayed to be a partner forever, and I always by your side as you said before. Can you?" Of course, you couldn't.
Have you ever felt that this way was too fast, even it's good for us, it's good for me and you, but you are still unfair to me? You have stolen my heart then just leave it? A part of me died that day.
You are vicious just because you don't wanna us to become a partner, but you are standing in front of the door and blocking everything. Everything has changed too fast. And yes, we're together in our vagueness.
So I am happy,
Because I love you.
Thank you.
Malang, 23:50 22/07/2017
Malang, 23:50 22/07/2017
1 komentar
Hemmm jadi ikutan baper 😭
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